Developing Child - Emotions

There are many ways to help your child with his/her emotions!

If your child succeeds at what he/she is doing - show appreciation - not a price or a chocolate.

 

It is important to give your child approval for trying, not just for succeeding! 

If your child tries and fails or makes a mistake, he/she needs sympathy
and tactful help, to show how to succeed later.
Tell your child that everybody has made mistakes or failed - that is how to learn!
For example, if you want to become a good rider you have to fall off your horse lots of times.

Anger, frustration, melt downs, tantrums......not only in your child but also in yourself....we are all humans!

Children are much more sensitive than adults, and the child finds adult anger very disturbing.

Of course, it is not good to bottle up your own frustration or anger, but it is not fair to expect your child to deal with it. Your child will certainly also, at times, be frustrated and angry - its normal!
Here you can help him/her by remembering how you dealt with your anger.

Ask yourself - "How do I deal with my frustration or anger? Do I count to ten, do I run round the block, do I cry, do I scream.........Does it help?"

If you wish to know more ways to control anger, frustration or how to deal with Life´s ups and downs, I can recommend you to join a Mindfulness Course.

In a stressful situation do the following Mindfulness exercise!
It is a quick and easy way of calming yourself down:

Close your right nostril with your thumb or finger, and start breathing in very, very, very slowly through your left nostril... a long deep breath in - all the way down into your stomach, which will expand -  slowly, slowly, slowly let the air out, still through your left nostril, now your stomach will deflate - do this for a few minutes and you will feel the calmness.
Finish the exercise by taking a couple of deep very slow breaths through both your nostrils.

When you feel calm you will also think clearer and now you will find it much easier to deal with your frustration or anger.

"The breath is always with you. It is like a good friend who will always help you when you are having a hard time. Do not forget your friend". -  Sara Emillione

Children from 8 years of age can do this exercise.  

Apart from the above and apart from everything else, the best you can give your child is LOVE!

Does your child know that you love him/her, always will love him/her, will never leave because he/she has been naughty or has made mistakes?

The chances are that they will not know unless you tell them!

"Love is more than electricity which lightens up the darkness, 

more than the waves that transmit our voices across space, 

more than the energies that man has discovered and learned to use...".

The Child in The Family

Maria Montessori 

"All that man can do with their discoveries depends on the conscience of him who uses them...by this means, man will be able to hold together all that he creates with his hands and his intelligence. Without it, all he creates will turn to the bringing of disorder and destruction"

The Child in The Family

Maria Montessori

Developing Child - Language

One important activity, which unfortunately is nearly lost 

these days, is having a family meal together!

 Is is more important than one can imagine, especially if you are living a hectic life. 

Take the opportunity for having family mealtimes, both for the benefit 

of your children but also for yourself to get a chance to `catch your breath´.

Even if you are a single parent, this time together gives so much. 

Here table manners, politeness and the sharing of conversations can be encouraged.

Of course conversations at other times are important too, 

where half of it should consist of the adult listening to the child!

It is courteous to give someone full attention and to 

extend this courtesy to your child increases his/her confidence.  

Make sure you always use the correct form and the correct words, 

children love words and they just absorb them until they are about six years old. 

If you ask your child to turn down the sound, refer to "volume control" instead of "that button".

Language is also acquired from others, so stories are an obvious source of enrichment. 

"Books should continually be adding joyous new dimensions to children´s lives, contributing to their all-round development as persons; awakening their minds, feeding their imagination, expanding their horizons, increasing their knowledge, sharpening their awareness of language and making their lives richer and brighter"............Maria Montessori 

Sort out your children's books and choose one you can read with enthusiasm. 

The illustrations are important so choose positive and beautiful ones!

Today you will also find books to read on Ipad/tablet, 

where you will also find fun reading exercises for your child.

Children's language competence can be improved through:

Stories and poems

Rhymes and jingles.

Singing.

You certainly have control of what your young child watches on Tv/Ipad - much is unreal, perhaps even frightening. Your young child will benefit from watching nature films.

Toys can also be tasteless and encourage anti social behaviour. 

Remember your young child is trying to come to grips with the real world!

The best thing for your child under five is to keep to reality, 

for example read stories of what can actually happen in real life.

 Let your child do real things and spend lots of time in nature. 

Nature makes children calm and contented!

The Developing Child - Self Esteem

 I can!

 

 A high self esteem comes from knowing ones strengths and weakness and believing in one self.

Healthy self-esteem is like a 

child's armour against the challenges of the world. 

Self esteem is how much a person values himself.

The self esteem the child gets
from doing real work,
by himself or together in a group,
is of great benefit.

It will also clearly show how important he/she is,

and that he/she is part of something, 

that he belongs,

that he/she has an important role,

and most important - that he/she matters!

 

When your child gets a feeling of  belonging, this will increase self esteem. 

You give your child the feeling of belonging when doing family things together. 

And of course by believing in him.

Another helpful tip:

Instead of you always cleaning and tidying up your child's room, it will certainly help if you occasionally set aside time when you are not too rushed and clean the room together.

Your child will understand that work is for everyone and working together is fun. 

 High self esteem comes from being loved!

The Developing Child - Desire for Order

"Everyone thinks only of the child´s tomorrow, 

of his future existence, no one concerns himself with the present"

The Child in the Family - Maria Montessori

What a Mindfulness exercise this can be! Such a valuable thought to reflect on today in our hectic and wonderful world.

 

If we only think of tomorrow, this will make us worry, because we want our children to learn quickly, to get ahead, be better than others.

Paradoxically by pushing children to succeed will most often slow their progress. So instead we should make sure that both the care and the material things provided meet their present needs, only this will allow progression at a rate they can cope with!

"Teach me to do it by myself"

The Montessori Method - Maria Montessori 

If your child wants to and can do something for himself, even if it is not perfectly done, let him/her try.

Because by doing it for them, especially if you are better at it - is humiliating! 

The most valuable gift you can give your child in this particular moment is.....TIME!

And through example and encouragement lead your child to perform more and more tasks for himself. The tendency for the adult to step in with a helping hand, because this is easier and quicker, must be firmly resisted if your child is ever to gain the sense of joy through a task completed.

The concept of independence applies not only to the physical sphere but also to the intellectual and emotional ones as well.

Adults should be aware of projecting their own ideas of independence on their child. Your child must be given room for choice and must be able to exercise patience to allow him/her to develop.

Parents who over-protect their child actually retard the child´s movement towards independence and increases the difficulties of the teachers´s task when your child starts school. 

In a Montessori school there are plenty of suitable exercises in the area of:

1. the control of self
2. the control of environment
3. the social aspect of life

At home you can help your child in many ways, for example by simply putting up coat-pegs low down - this will encourage tidiness.

Low shelves for toys and books. 

Toys and books should be sorted out from time to time, as too many choices are confusing.

Look for other things that will enable independence. 

 

Every child has a strong natural desire for order, they will feel more secure if they know where to put things and where to find them!

A place for everything and everything in its place

  the child who is in harmony with their environment 

will demonstrate their enjoyment in keeping it tidy!

Today's Reflection - Trust

Today's reflection and little chat is about TRUST.

Ask your child:

-Do you know what trust means?

-How do you think you feel inside when you trust yourself?

-For example we feel safe and we know we will be able to do certain things - we trust ourselves! How does that feel?

-Can you remember a time when you trusted yourself?

-How do you think it feels when we don´t trust ourselves?

-Perhaps you tear up a drawing you just made, because you might think no one will like it. How do you feel then?

-Do you have a good friend that you trust? How do you feel when you are with him/her?

 

         The next exercise is fun and your child will love it!

         You need to download some music:

1. Fast beat - African conga drums
2. Soft music - Best of Chopin -Best classical music for relaxation - Best Piano songs by Chopin or Loving Touch by C:G Deuter.

This dancing game increases your child's ability to pay attention, in a fun way. 

To be able to pay attention is an important skill when starting school.

It is also something many children, in today's hectic world, need to practise !

Start by telling your child to listen carefully.

Play some drum music and ask "How will your body move when you hear this type of music?" Let your child show you. If your child is shy or not willing, you show him/her how YOUR body likes to move!

Now play some soft music and ask the same thing "How will your body move when you hear this type of music?" Let your child show you or YOU show your child! It must be fun!

When the two different types of music have been introduced, you remind your child to pay extra attention because NOW you are going to play this music again and you want him/her to move to the music in any way he/she wants to! 

BUT when the music stops, he/she must stop immediately and stand absolutely still, like a statue, until the music starts again. You can make the pause longer and longer as the game carries on.

Now play drum music - stop for a few seconds - play soft music - stop - and so on.... but sometimes you may play two or three slow or fast pieces of music after each other.  Observe how quick your child responds when the music stops and when the music change its rhythm. 

Keep doing this for a few minutes. Sometimes the children do not notice that the music stopped because they are so excited, should that be the case just gently remind him/her to listen carefully.

This dancing game is a success at any children's party (5-8 years old) they just love it!

"Music and movement together help children to develop gross motor skills, coordination and a good sense of balance and spatial awareness" - Earleen Coburn.

                                         Enjoy!

Good Morning - my body!

This is an exercise to help increase your child's awareness, focus and concentration.

Suitable for children from 4 years of age.

Start by telling your child that you are going to listen to your body .
(For older children and adults we call this Body scanning, it is done slightly differently).

Now, ask your body....and feel...

"How are you feeling today"?
"Does your body feel calm"?
"Is it jumpy or is it tired"?
"Is your body thirsty or hungry"? 
"Is there a pain anywhere or 
does your body feel good and happy today"?

When you have listened to how your child's body feels today, give him/her a cuddle, and say "yes, sometimes your body feels like that, tomorrow it probably feels different". (You might have to tend to hunger och thirst if they can´t wait).

NOW it is time to say Good Morning to all parts of your body, in the following order, by gently patting each part. If you like to sing, do so. Tell your child to copy you on his/her own body. 

Do it quite slowly so your child can follow!

You greet every part ....GOOD MORNING

toes

heels

soles

both my feet

ankles

calf

knees

thighs -front, back, inside, outside

hips

lower back

belly

bottom

right palm

left palm

fingers on my right hand

fingers on my left hand

right wrist

left wrist

right forearm

left forearm

elbows

upper right arm

upper left arm

chest

shoulders

throat

neck

back of your head - pat extra carefully

top of your head

temples

forehead

cheeks

chin

lips

ears

eyes....

GOOD MORNING ALL OF ME - finish by giving yourself a big hug!

   

In the above exercise you can choose which part to say good morning to, with a very young child you choose just a few and with an older child you include others as well....like nose tip, tongue, eyebrows etc.

Which parts does your child already know? Which part do you need to repeat? 

This exercise increase body awareness and gives self confidence.

 

 


 

The Environment and the Creative process

"As soon as the children find something that interest them, 

they lose their instability and learn to concentrate"

The Secret of Childhood by Maria Montessori

Of course, there are various ways for children to find stability and to enhance self confidence, one good example is when painting, drawing or making stuff.

Children between 4 - 7 years (the Pre-Schematic Stage),

is now conscious of what they are drawing.                      

The child draws "what he knows but not what he sees".

TIME

Ideally children should have the opportunity to create at all times. They should be free to select activity - using different materials, which should be easily accessible, so they can develop their independence, which leads to self-confidence!

SPACE

Arrange a small table and/or an easel.           

MATERIALS

Nearby fix a cupboard or shelf, with boxes or jars where to keep all the materials for creating.

• Different pens, pencils, crayons, waterpainting, readymix, fingerpaint, flourescent paint. (top shelf, but still reachable)
• Chubby paintbrushes, Bristle and Hoghair paintbrushes and watercolour paintbrushes
• Different types and different colours of paper  
• Scissors and glue - old cards (birthday/christmas) and old magazines are good and easy to cut and glue.
• Pieces of wood and woodglue
• Apron -  one that your child can easily put on by themselves - when you have showed them how!                                

Show him/her HOW to clean up and put things back in the right place, explain how easy it will be next time he/she is inspired to paint or create something.

Make them proud of having such a nice "creating cupboard/shelf"!

From 4 years of age, he/she usually draws humans and soon they start drawing animals, houses, trees and flowers. Of course the variation between children at this stage is often big. 

              At this time you will be able to see his/her thinking processes.

Find ways to inspire them!

Your role is of vital importance because now you can help to build up your child´s self confident

Both your language and your general attitude should be carefully considered.

• Try not to interfere by directing or correcting him/her
• Do not give him praise, unless he/she says "look what a lovely picture I have made...." because now we are encouraging intrinsic motivation, the child is not drawing because you want him/her to draw, but because he/she really wants to draw - the inspiration comes from within!
• Encourage independence. Show him/her how to clean the paint brushes and how to put them back in the jar with the bristle pointing upwards.

• When your child has finished and everything is cleaned up, take the time to talk about what he/she has created and display the work in an attractive way.

• If your child draws or paints a lot everyday, is not possible to to display everything! Make a special box where he/she can keep his/her art - the child will soon forget about it, because for the young child it is not the result that counts - it is the "doing" that is important!

Tips on what to say to encourage your child is:

"Are you pleased with your....."    - if he/she is pleased, only then, do you give him praise.
"Would it be a good idea to...."
"Have you thought about......."
"What would you do next time..." 

Be involved and interested!

And you will find a child that is both harmonious, happy and independent and 

with a great self confidence!